Ronnie Garrison
Well-known member
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the
lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You
are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work
clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old
t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes .
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you
need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following :
In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry
your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check
yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because
you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the
checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the
register.
In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.
Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash
your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it.
Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl
running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with .
In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long
enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different
shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost
empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check
yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young
thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird
thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off
your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt
in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to
wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the
register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.
Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it
says, 'I Got Worms.'
In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose
the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your
pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your
glasses on so you are not sure .
In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until
they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on
your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you
remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's : Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again.
Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander
around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and
you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old
lady who greeted you at the front door. Report Abuse
lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You
are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work
clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old
t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes .
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you
need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following :
In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry
your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check
yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because
you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the
checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the
register.
In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.
Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash
your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it.
Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl
running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with .
In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long
enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different
shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost
empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check
yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young
thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird
thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off
your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt
in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to
wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the
register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.
Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it
says, 'I Got Worms.'
In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose
the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your
pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your
glasses on so you are not sure .
In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until
they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on
your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you
remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's : Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again.
Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander
around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and
you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old
lady who greeted you at the front door. Report Abuse
