EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS
> 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going
> to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed
> out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take
> off her under- wear. Suddenly I noticed that there were
> several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
>
> 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope
> on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior
> chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used
> to be!" replied the patient.
> > Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA
>
> 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I
> told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive
> myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I
> heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
> had died of a "massive internal fart."
>
> Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
>
> 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment
> with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that
> he was having trouble with one of his medications.
> "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the Nurse told me
> to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running
> out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and
> discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man
> had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions
> include removal of the old patch before applying a new
& gt; one.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA.
>
> 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
> I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a
> look of complete confusion she answered,."Why, not
> for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.."
>
> Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR .
>
> 6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning
> and while checking up on a woman I asked, "So how's
> your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for
> the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste"
> the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the
> woman produced a foil pack et labeled "KY Jelly."
>
> Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI .
>
> 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when
> a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk ro cker
> Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange
> clothing, entered.. It was quickly determined that the patient
> had acute appendicitis, so she was sch eduled for immediate
> surgery.
> When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,
> the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green,
> and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the
> grass!" Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
> wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
> "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
>
> Submitted by RN no name
>
> AND FINALLY!!!................
>
> 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was
> quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams..
> To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a
> habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I
> was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
> further embarrassing me.. I looked up from my work and
> sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied,
> "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I
> was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
>
> Dr. wouldn't submit his name
emoLaugh Jmax
> 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going
> to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed
> out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take
> off her under- wear. Suddenly I noticed that there were
> several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
>
> 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope
> on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior
> chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used
> to be!" replied the patient.
> > Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA
>
> 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I
> told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive
> myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I
> heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
> had died of a "massive internal fart."
>
> Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
>
> 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment
> with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that
> he was having trouble with one of his medications.
> "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the Nurse told me
> to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running
> out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and
> discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man
> had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions
> include removal of the old patch before applying a new
& gt; one.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA.
>
> 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
> I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a
> look of complete confusion she answered,."Why, not
> for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.."
>
> Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR .
>
> 6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning
> and while checking up on a woman I asked, "So how's
> your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for
> the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste"
> the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the
> woman produced a foil pack et labeled "KY Jelly."
>
> Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI .
>
> 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when
> a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk ro cker
> Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange
> clothing, entered.. It was quickly determined that the patient
> had acute appendicitis, so she was sch eduled for immediate
> surgery.
> When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,
> the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green,
> and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the
> grass!" Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
> wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
> "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
>
> Submitted by RN no name
>
> AND FINALLY!!!................
>
> 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was
> quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams..
> To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a
> habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I
> was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
> further embarrassing me.. I looked up from my work and
> sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied,
> "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I
> was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
>
> Dr. wouldn't submit his name
emoLaugh Jmax
