m17glock
Well-known member
<font><font><font><font>/<font size="3">**ONE**
> *Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
> have an order of 6, 9 or 1 2 Chicken McNuggets.
> I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
> 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
> 'You don't?' I replied.
> 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
> 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
> 'That's right.'
> So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
> /(Unbelievable but sadly true..)/
> * *
> *TWO**
>
> *
> I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and the
> lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one
> of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it
> between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
> After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider',
> looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
> Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
> I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
> She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left..
> She had no clue to what had just happened.
>
> *THREE**
> *A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
> and pulling it out very quickly.
> When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
> the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
> using the ATM 'thingy.'
> /(keep shuddering!!)
>
> /*FOUR **
> *I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you
> need some help?' I asked.
> She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote
> door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing
> to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
> 'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
> 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys
> to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
> 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a
> long walk....'
> PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
>
>
> *FIVE*
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
> was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing
> paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the
> secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
> piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
> 'blank' copies.
> Brunette, by the way!!
>
> *SIX **
> *A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
> take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.. The
> dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
> fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer....'
> Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
>
>
> */Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!! </font>
</font></font></font></font>
> *Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
> have an order of 6, 9 or 1 2 Chicken McNuggets.
> I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
> 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
> 'You don't?' I replied.
> 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
> 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
> 'That's right.'
> So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
> /(Unbelievable but sadly true..)/
> * *
> *TWO**
>
> *
> I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and the
> lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one
> of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it
> between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
> After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider',
> looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
> Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
> I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
> She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left..
> She had no clue to what had just happened.
>
> *THREE**
> *A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
> and pulling it out very quickly.
> When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
> the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
> using the ATM 'thingy.'
> /(keep shuddering!!)
>
> /*FOUR **
> *I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you
> need some help?' I asked.
> She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote
> door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing
> to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
> 'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
> 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys
> to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
> 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a
> long walk....'
> PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
>
>
> *FIVE*
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
> was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing
> paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the
> secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
> piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
> 'blank' copies.
> Brunette, by the way!!
>
> *SIX **
> *A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
> take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.. The
> dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
> fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer....'
> Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
>
>
> */Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!! </font>
</font></font></font></font>
