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CouchTater

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
258
Location
Henagar,Sand Mountain, AL
Since I filed for divorce from the ex-wife. Probably the best thing I have done in my life. I didn't want to split my kids up from either one of us but there is only so much one person can take. I grew up with my parents divorced from the time I was 6 years old and I didnt want my kids to go thru it. I have raised my 3 girls on my own since Jan 3rd 2008. I was scared at first cause my children were 5,3 and 18 months old but thru the grace of God I worked thru it. Thats one reason I didnt fish any in 2008.

It took a while to get enough evidence on her but I finally did and on Jan 10 2008 our divorce was filed and the long road started. 2007 was the worst year of my life hands down, I wish I could count the times she threatend to take the kids and run off on me, which she could have. She called the police so many times that when they heard her name they would just go ahead and send an officer out. One of us would have to leave for the night and not come back for 24 hours. I got tired of having to leave my house after just getting home from work.From the day she found out about the divorce it was hell on earth. Now granted the court order said no harrasment that didnt stop her from calling the police and saying that my kids where in danger. 12-1 am in the morning she didnt care.

On top of runing our marriage and putting the kids in a bad situation she pretty much runied me financially. I am getting in better shape slowly but its a heck of alot better than what I was in. I have raised the kids with out any support from the state and none from her she hasnt paid child support all year.

Like I said earlier 2007 was a bad year and I might have to say that the first part of 2008 was worse. I had temp custody of the kids until our Final hearing on the divorce. She had every other weekend and that lasted two visits. The first one my 5 year old daughter called me on her moms cell phone and begged me to come get her. Granted she is living about an hour north of memphis. I was ready to go but I thought I better not cause it might cause trouble. So the next day when my daughters got home she said she didnt want to go back. well the next visit came and my daughter begged and cried not to go. I later found out why and it nearly killed me.



My faith in the justice system in this country took a nose dive when we tried to prosecute the person that done this. Turns out the local county government in TN wouldnt act on the case even though the county I lived in collected enough evidence to do so. they were after him for drug charges and he is currently doing time for that.

So that pretty much ended any visitation that she had with the kids, she didnt even show up at any of the court dates and I have full custody of my girls. She hasnt seen them since June 1 2008. I have a 2 year old that doesnt know her mother and it kills me that she dont. But I dont want my kids put in danger like that, she has supervised visitation but doesnt use it. Teh kids are better off cause they dont want to be around them my kids are 100 percent different then they was when they where with her.

She had me believing that she was paying all the bills till one day I got a call from my family saying that my house was in the paper for foreclosure!!!! I said it had to be a mistake and called my mortgage company they proceeded to tell me that my house was a year behind on the payments a whole year. When she finally moved out she told me about a box that had all the past due bills and anything that had my name and that was inportant was in her closet it was a big box full of unopened mail. Turns out my electricity had been turned off twice and the water too. Lost two vehicles and some how she was slick enough to go get another one the same day. (lesson here, check your credit report lol)

Anyway she got arrested on Jan 3 2008 I called the jail to find out why she got arrested, a bunch of bad checks. Put it to you this way she owes more to Jackson and Dekalb county in bad checks and fines than she owes me in back child support.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that thanks to her and her exploits over the past 3 years I lost alot of friends on this forum. Alot of us I considered really good friends and thanks to the problems she caused I doubt any of those friendships are repairable. I know things happend that could have been avoided but had I known at the time what was going on I wish I could have done so. I was so bent on keeping my family together that i let things get by me, I guess you could say that I was the most gullabile person in the world at the time. Either that or I was blind as a bat. I nearly lost my job over it too.

I said some things to some people that I wouldnt have had I been in a better state. I sure could have used the friends this past year as this was the biggest test of my life and I am grateful that we made it thru.

So I would like to apologize to everyone and I hope one day the friendships can be mended. I am truly sorry for everything, you never know how bad you miss something when its been gone awhile. Thanks for your time.

Tater
 
Thank you spurhunter its been a rough time but I think 2009 is going to be a great year these kiddos keep me going:

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You're a bigger man than others in your shoes, Eric. Though I'm certain its tough at times, you gotta know your girls worship the ground you walk on.

No bridges were burned here man. You're always welcome in my boat.

Rob
 
<font face="comic sans ms,sand" color="#ff0033" size="4">Tater, not knowing all that you have gone through these past months, but I thought of you often and prayed that somehow you would be strong and hold on to the family....they are beautiful little girls and you have done good....FAemoGrouphug </font>
 
Thanks for the update Tater. Glad things are picking up for you. I know it was a long haul for you and hopefully the girls will see in the end that you done the best for them. Keep looking up to God and try to hang onto those beautiful little girls. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
Tater, I feel for you brother. I've read your posts in the past few years and know you are one of the fella's. Beautiful girls! Keep up the good fight and as I am told, it will all work out and things will get better.
I know of what you are speaking. I'm in the middle of a very similar fight of my life right now. I've not posted about it for a number of reasons. I didn't know how my friends here would take it or if it was appropriate to post such personal information. I for one was touched by your post and relate more than you can imagine.I've wondered for myself if would be wise being that I'm in the midst of a court case and I'm sure she will try to use my coming to the forum in the last two years and the fishing I did with my boys against me as it is. Whether out of shame over the loss of my family, the loss of my relationship with Louie, or just the loss period... I haven't posted a word about it until this thread. It's a reeling experience and one that can get you into a pretty dark place that is hard to get out of. I've never known the depth of dispair in my entire life as I have known since we moved from Chatt last July1. I'm glad that you have found a way to get on top of it all. I'm still struggling to just try to make sense of it all for me, I cannot offer much more than a pat on the back and encouragement to strive for better days ahead. And I can relate to what you mean about how the collateral damage of divorce/drama can grind on your friends/family. I never could have known how bad that is in true life. I guess many just do not know what to say... and it IS an uncomfortable position for both you and the friend, I am sure. I'll say a prayer for you brother. May 2009 bring great peace and happiness to you and your family. And by all means, take those girls fishing. That can do nothing but help some healing for all of you. And I for one miss my entire family. It's hard.... darn hard. I've kept a little book called "The Shack" on my bedside table. There are a few lines in that book that have helped me keep it all in perspective and allow me SOME peace of mind. That small bit of peace I have had during this time, came to me from this forum. Thanks for the post. You've got friends here. Many more than you know, I'm sure of it.
 
Eric my dad and I have often had conversations about you in the past couple of years and wondered about you. I have always belived that when someone distant enters your mind they are in need of a ear to speak into. I wish you would have got on here alot earlier but I do understand why you havent. We have been friends for a long time and we didnt talk for years because our lives changed so much and then we met up again and then once again we parted ways for our own reasons but I am here for you in any time of need. I hope that you can get all things resolved with all parties involved with you. Call me sometime and lets talk about some things to help get you straightend out. PM me and lets get it done. GODS SPEED!!!!! Eric.
 
Eric, I'm sorry to hear that things have not worked out very well for you over the last year +. I hope that this new year will be much better for you and your girls. Spencer, I'm really sorry to hear that you have had such a tough year also. You both can be assured that there are lots of guys on here that will keep you in our prayers for better things in the near future.
 

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