Jmax’s joke reminded me of one...

[Nauticman]

Two old fishing buddies were fishing the lower end of Chickamauga Lake in sight of Highway 153 when a funeral car procession came by.
One guy stood up, took his cap off and put his hand over his heart. His buddy said: Man, that’s mighty nice of you to show respect for the dead like that.
He answered: Yeah, we were married for 47 years.

 

[porthos33]

OMG! lol

 

[Jmax]

You think that is bad...I was at a Razorback Game one time and had poor seats. Me and my date saw a guy down in front of us sitting with three empty seats next to him. Told my date we would see if they were taken and try to get closer. Walked up to the guy, asked him if they were taken and he said, "No, you can sit there." I asked him if the seats were his and he said they were. At half time we started talking some more and I asked about the seats. He told us one was his wife's and the other two were his kids. He then told us she had passed away recently and that was why she was not there. I told him I was sorry to hear about his wife's passing and then asked where the kids were and he said, "At her funeral". emoEek emoEek Jmax

 

[porthos33]

That's ridiculous!! I can't believe someone would actually do that!

 

[Nauticman]

Wow, what a story, Jim. If this had happened now, he might have gone to the funeral instead, considering the way the razorbacks are doing now. Where is John Broyles now when you need him,
Arkansas’ only national championship coach (1964).

 

[Jmax]

Nauticman - 9/22/2018 8:25 PM

Wow, what a story, Jim. If this had happened now, he might have gone to the funeral instead, considering the way the razorbacks are doing now. Where is John Broyles now when you need him,
Arkansas’ only national championship coach (1964).

Yea, they really look bad! emoBawl Right now coaching the hogs should go something like this, "This is a football, when you carry it hang on to it, when it is passed to you catch it, when they are rushing to the QB who has this you need to block those guys, when you kick it you are trying to put it between those two tall yellow poles, when someone on your team is running with it the other guys on the other team need to be stopped but you cannot just grab them and hold them or tackle them to stop them and if the other team has this ball you cannot grab the facemask and use it to pull that guy to the ground." Ah...."What's that? What is a facemask? well...this is a helmet, these bars in the front of the helmet is a facemask, not a handle." emoDoh Jmax

 

[Nauticman]

Sounds like you’re qualified to coach’em. BTW, I should have said “Frank” Broyles, not “John”.