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Carl Guffey

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 12, 2006
Messages
2,463
Location
Friendsville, TN
<div style="font-style: normal; display: inline; font-family: 'Calibri'; color: #000000; font-size: small; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none"><font color="#000000" size="2" face="arial"><div>
</div><div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; color: black; font-size: 10pt"><div id="ecxyiv515487728AOLMsgPart_1_436bf5f2-6767-4920-b633-e9141bdc7a7e"><div dir="ltr"><div><font size="3" face="Calibri"><div dir="ltr"><font size="4">
</font><div><font size="3" face="Calibri"><table style="color: black" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="font-size-adjust: inherit; font-stretch: inherit" valign="top"><blockquote style="padding-left: 5px; margin-left: 5px"><div id="ecxyiv515487728ecxyiv341353309"><font color="#000000" size="2" face="arial"><div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; color: black; font-size: 10pt"><div id="ecxyiv515487728ecxyiv341353309AOLMsgPart_1_118f3b84-c6e0-4a03-807c-95544f37ea8b"><div class="ecxyiv515487728ecxyiv341353309moz-forward-container"><div class="ecxyiv515487728ecxyiv341353309gmail_quote"><div><div><pre>PUT A LAUGH OR SMILE IN YOUR DAY ... <font color="#00cc33">O x y m o r o n s</font> 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? 8 . Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? 11. Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"? 12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? 13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? 15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? 17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? 20. Why is bra singular and panties plural? 21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word? 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? 25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one? 27. Christmas - What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks? 28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? I dunno , why do we? <font color="#ff0000">SCROLL DOWN</font> God Saw you hungry & created McDonalds,Wendy's, and Dairy Queen. He saw you thirsty & created Pepsi, Juice, Coffee and Water. GOD saw you in the dark & created Light . GOD saw you without a Good looking , adorable, FRIEND......... So He created <font style="font-size: 10pt" size="2"><font face="arial"><font color="#0000ff">Your Wif<font style="font-size: 10pt" size="2">e</font></font></font></font> </pre></div></div></div></div></div></div></font></div></blockquote></td></tr></tbody></table></font></div></div></font></div></div></div></div></font></div>
 
<div style="background: #f5f5f5"><div>A little haywire: hope this helps</div></div><div style="font-style: normal; display: inline; font-family: 'Calibri'; color: #000000; font-size: small; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none"><font color="#000000" size="2" face="arial"><div>
</div><div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; color: black; font-size: 10pt"><div id="ecxyiv515487728AOLMsgPart_1_436bf5f2-6767-4920-b633-e9141bdc7a7e"><div dir="ltr"><div><font size="3" face="Calibri" /><div dir="ltr"><font size="4">
</font><div><font size="3" face="Calibri" /><table style="color: black" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="font-size-adjust: inherit; font-stretch: inherit" valign="top"><blockquote style="padding-left: 5px; margin-left: 5px"><div id="ecxyiv515487728ecxyiv341353309"><font color="#000000" size="2" face="arial"><div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; color: black; font-size: 10pt"><div id="ecxyiv515487728ecxyiv341353309AOLMsgPart_1_118f3b84-c6e0-4a03-807c-95544f37ea8b"><div class="ecxyiv515487728ecxyiv341353309moz-forward-container"><div class="ecxyiv515487728ecxyiv341353309gmail_quote"><div><div><pre>PUT A LAUGH OR SMILE IN YOUR DAY ... O x y m o r o n s 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? 8 . Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? 11. Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"? 12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? 13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? 15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? 17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? 20. Why is bra singular and panties plural? 21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word? 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? 25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one? 27. Christmas - What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks? 28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? I dunno , why do we? SCROLL DOWN God Saw you hungry & created McDonalds,Wendy's, and Dairy Queen. He saw you thirsty & created Pepsi, Juice, Coffee and Water. GOD saw you in the dark & created Light . GOD saw you without a Good looking , adorable, FRIEND......... So He created <font style="font-size: 10pt" size="2"><font face="arial">Your Wif<font style="font-size: 10pt" size="2">e</font></font></font> </pre></div></div></div></div></div></div></font></div></blockquote></td></tr></tbody></table></div></div></div></div></div></div></font></div>
 

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