Signs of the times

[Guest]

<div align="center"><font face="Arial">I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">The statement below is true.
The statement above is false. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln,
how was the play? </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred". </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">I am having an out-of-money experience</font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">Corduroy pillows are making headlines! </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. </font></div><div></div><div align="center"><font face="Arial">I FOUND JESUS!
He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana </font></div>

 

[Shark]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Great joke doc emoLaugh emoThumbsup

 

[ukfod1]

Those are good. emoLaugh emoUpsmile

 

[roll tide]

Ha Ha great stuff emoApplause

 

[TAzGa]

emoLaugh emoLaugh emoLaugh

 

[yellburt]

good one docemoUSA