That's how the fight got started

[Guest]

<div><table class="EC_MsoNormalTable" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding-right: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-top: 0in" valign="top"><div id="EC_EC_yiv1903589104"><div><table class="EC_MsoNormalTable" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding-right: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-top: 0in" valign="top"><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt">When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take </span></font><span style="font-weight: bold">
<font face="Times New Roman">hersomeplace expensive....</font></span> </p><div><div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt">
<font face="Times New Roman">so, I took her to a gas station</font></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt">. . . . and that's how the fight started.</span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt">

<font face="Times New Roman">**************************************************</font><span style="font-weight: bold">


<font face="Times New Roman">I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of </font><span class="EC_ececyshortcuts">Miller Lite</span><font face="Times New Roman"> for </font>
<font face="Times New Roman">$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of </font><span class="EC_ececyshortcuts">cold cream</span><font face="Times New Roman"> for $7.95.</font>

<font face="Times New Roman">I told her the beer wouldmake her look better than the </font><span class="EC_ececyshortcuts">cold </span>
<span class="EC_ececyshortcuts">cream</span><font face="Times New Roman"> at night</font></span></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt">
<font face="Times New Roman">.. . . and that's how the fight started.</font></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt">
<font face="Times New Roman"></font></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt">**************************************************</span></font><span style="font-weight: bold">


<font face="Times New Roman">After retiring, I went to the Social Securityoffice to apply </font>
<font face="Times New Roman">for </font><span style="cursor: hand"><span style="cursor: hand"><span class="EC_ececyshortcuts">SocialSecurity</span></span></span><font face="Times New Roman">. The woman behind the counter asked </font>
<font face="Times New Roman">me formy </font><span class="EC_ececyshortcuts">driver's license</span><font face="Times New Roman"> toverify my age. I looked in my </font>
<font face="Times New Roman">pockets and realizedI had left my wallet at home. I told the </font>
<font face="Times New Roman">woman that I was very sorry, but I</font></span><font face="Arial" color="#000000"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial">would have to go home</span></font><font face="Arial" color="#000000"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: black; font-family: Arial">
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">and come back later..</span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."</span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">So I opened my shirt, revealing my curly silverhair. She </span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">said, "Thatsilver hair on your chest is proof enough forme," </span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">and she processed my</span></font><span class="EC_ececyshortcuts">Social Security application</span><font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">.</span></font></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Arial" color="#000000" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: Arial">When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about myexperience </span></font><font face="Arial" color="#000000"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: black; font-family: Arial">
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">at the SocialSecurity office. She said, "You should have</span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">dropped your pants.</span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">You might have gotten disability, too</span></font></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Arial" color="#000000" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: Arial">
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">. . . .andthat's how the fight started.</span></font></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Arial" color="#000000" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: Arial">

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">**************************************************</span></font><span style="font-weight: bold">


<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">My wife and I were sitting at a table at myhigh-school reunion, </span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">and I keptstaring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as </span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">shesat alone at a nearbytable.My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'</span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my oldgirlfriend. I understand she took to</span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">drinking right after we split up those many yearsago,, and I hear </span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">she hasn'tbeen sober since.'</span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">'My God!' says my wife, 'Who wouldthink a person could go on </span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">celebratingthat long?'</span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">. . . . and that's how the fight started.</span></font></span></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Arial" color="#000000" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: Arial">

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">**************************************************</span></font><span style="font-weight: bold">


<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">I rear-ended a car this morning. There we were,alongside the </span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">road, andslowly the other driver got out of his car. Youknow how </span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">sometimes you justget soooo stressed and little things just seem</span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">funny? </span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">Yeah, well I couldn't believe he was a DWARF!!!</span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, andshouted, </span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'</span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, thenwhich one are you?'</span></font>


<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">. .. . and that's how the fight started.</span></font></span></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Arial" color="#000000" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: Arial">**************************************************</span></font><font face="Arial" color="#000000"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: black; font-family: Arial">


<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, forsome reason, took </span></font>
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">my orderfirst, 'I'll have the strip steak, mediumrare, please.'</span></font>

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">He said, 'Aren't you worried about the madcow?'</span></font></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Arial" color="#000000" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: Arial">
<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">'Nah, shecan order for herself'</span></font></span></font></p></div><div><p class="EC_MsoNormal"><font face="Arial" color="#000000" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: Arial">

<font face="Arial"><span style="font-family: Arial">. . . .and that's how the fight started.</span></font></span></font></p></div></div></div></td></tr></tbody></table><p class="EC_MsoNormal" style="text-align: center" align="center"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt">
<font color="#000080"><span style="color: navy"></span></font></span></font></p></div></div></td></tr></tbody></table></div>

 

[slo-ride]

emoLaugh emoLaugh emoLaugh

 

[josh.schreiber]

the dwarf one is my favorite!!

 

[puddle jumper]

emoUpsmile emoUpsmile emoUpsmile
Thanks Doc...

 

[Nickajack Angler]

Nice Doc!

 

[crappiefishermantn]

emoLaugh emoLaugh emoLaugh now those are funny thanks for the good laughter

 

[drumking]

Doc, you made me grin from ear to ear. emoUpsmile emoGeezer