dnpank
Well-known member
1. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle.
It makes the neighbor's dog run to
the end of his chain and gag himself.
2. A penny saved is a government oversight.
3. The real art of conversation is not only to
say the right thing at the right time, but also
to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
4. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat have gotten
to be really good friends.
5. The easiest way to find something lost around
the house is to buy a replacement .
6. He who hesitates is probably right.
7. Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals
for forty (40) are ' XL.'
8. If you think there is good in everybody,
you haven't met everybody.
9. If you can smile when things go wrong ,
you have someone in mind to blame.
10. The sole purpose of a child's middle name
is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
11. There's always a lot to be thankful for if
you take time to look for it. For example
I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that
wrinkles don't hurt .
12. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words
'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
13. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
14. Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when
you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
15. The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.
16. Some people try to turn back their
odometers. Not me, I want people to know
'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of
the roads weren't paved.
17. When you are dissatisfied and would like
to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
18. You know you are getting old when
everything either dries up or leaks.
19. One of the many things no one tells you
about aging is that it is such a nice
change from being young.
20. Ah, being young is beautiful, but
being old is comfortable.
21. First you forget names, then you forget
faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
22. Long ago when men cursed and beat the
ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf.....
HAVE A GOOD DAY.....
It makes the neighbor's dog run to
the end of his chain and gag himself.
2. A penny saved is a government oversight.
3. The real art of conversation is not only to
say the right thing at the right time, but also
to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
4. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat have gotten
to be really good friends.
5. The easiest way to find something lost around
the house is to buy a replacement .
6. He who hesitates is probably right.
7. Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals
for forty (40) are ' XL.'
8. If you think there is good in everybody,
you haven't met everybody.
9. If you can smile when things go wrong ,
you have someone in mind to blame.
10. The sole purpose of a child's middle name
is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
11. There's always a lot to be thankful for if
you take time to look for it. For example
I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that
wrinkles don't hurt .
12. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words
'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
13. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
14. Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when
you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
15. The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.
16. Some people try to turn back their
odometers. Not me, I want people to know
'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of
the roads weren't paved.
17. When you are dissatisfied and would like
to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
18. You know you are getting old when
everything either dries up or leaks.
19. One of the many things no one tells you
about aging is that it is such a nice
change from being young.
20. Ah, being young is beautiful, but
being old is comfortable.
21. First you forget names, then you forget
faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
22. Long ago when men cursed and beat the
ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf.....
HAVE A GOOD DAY.....