THE KOHL'S SHOPPING TRIP
> > (This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply can't
> > make this stuff up! Oh, for you who don't know this: Kohl's is a really
> > nice department store.)
> >
> > Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed
> > down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit.....no flies,
> > no smell.
> >
> > What business could that poor kitty have had here? 'murmured Ellen.
> > 'Come on, Ellen, let's just go..' But Ellen had already grabbed her
> > shopping bag and was explaining,'I'll just put my things in your bag, and then
> > I'll use this tissue.'
> > She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the
> > tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it.
> > They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk.
> > But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the
> > trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon
> > lose that new-car smell.
> > They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to
> > K & W Cafeteria.
> >
> > After they went through the serving line and they sat down at a window
> > table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's bag still on the trunk. BUT not for long!
> > As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car. She looked
> > quickly this way and that, and then took the Kohl's bag without breaking stride.
> > She quickly walked out of their line of vision.
> >
> > Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all
> > happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond.
> > 'Can you imagine?' finally sputtered Ellen. 'The nerve of that woman!'
> > Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the
> > grand surprise awaiting the female thief. Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into
> > her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line.
> > Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red gingham shirt with The Kohl's bag
> > hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier. Helplessly they
> > watched the scene unfold: After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table
> > across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat.
> > After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag
> > into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice
> > her rapt audience three tables over,she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.
> > Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise. The noise grew.
> > The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching
> > her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer
> > in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.
> > A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their
> > chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the woman
> > with the red gingham shirt emerged from the crowd, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney.
> > Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her
> > belongings.
> > The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the ambulance doors
> > ..................the Kohl's Bag perched on her stomach!!
> >
> > God does take care of those who do bad things! (AND once in a while....He
> > allows us to witness it!)
emoAngel Jmax
> > (This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply can't
> > make this stuff up! Oh, for you who don't know this: Kohl's is a really
> > nice department store.)
> >
> > Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed
> > down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit.....no flies,
> > no smell.
> >
> > What business could that poor kitty have had here? 'murmured Ellen.
> > 'Come on, Ellen, let's just go..' But Ellen had already grabbed her
> > shopping bag and was explaining,'I'll just put my things in your bag, and then
> > I'll use this tissue.'
> > She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the
> > tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it.
> > They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk.
> > But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the
> > trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon
> > lose that new-car smell.
> > They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to
> > K & W Cafeteria.
> >
> > After they went through the serving line and they sat down at a window
> > table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's bag still on the trunk. BUT not for long!
> > As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car. She looked
> > quickly this way and that, and then took the Kohl's bag without breaking stride.
> > She quickly walked out of their line of vision.
> >
> > Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all
> > happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond.
> > 'Can you imagine?' finally sputtered Ellen. 'The nerve of that woman!'
> > Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the
> > grand surprise awaiting the female thief. Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into
> > her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line.
> > Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red gingham shirt with The Kohl's bag
> > hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier. Helplessly they
> > watched the scene unfold: After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table
> > across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat.
> > After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag
> > into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice
> > her rapt audience three tables over,she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.
> > Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise. The noise grew.
> > The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching
> > her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer
> > in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.
> > A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their
> > chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the woman
> > with the red gingham shirt emerged from the crowd, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney.
> > Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her
> > belongings.
> > The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the ambulance doors
> > ..................the Kohl's Bag perched on her stomach!!
> >
> > God does take care of those who do bad things! (AND once in a while....He
> > allows us to witness it!)
emoAngel Jmax
